You know when you’re telling a story, but about 3 minutes into it you realize that it’s not as interesting as you thought it was when you started? And you’ve invested too much time in it at this point to say “nevermind”, and now there’s like, a lot of people listening to you? And you can’t let them down? And the pressure just gets to you, and you end up making up an ending that 100% did not happen, but everybody laughs, and you’re filled with a sense of guilty euphoria? This happens to me more than I care to admit, but now I’m spilling my secret and facing the problem head-on.
As I was reading through some of the older blogs looking for inspiration, I noticed that a lot of people write their first post about writing. Specifically, people usually mention their problems or issues they have with writing, or their insecurity about their own writing. I struggle with writing probably just as much as the next person, but that’s not where my main troubles lie. My problem isn’t that I can’t get started, or I lack inspiration, or I’m overly critical of my own work. My problem is that I’m a dirty liar.
I’m probably being dramatic. When I think “dirty liar” images come to mind of a shadowy figure sneaking around alleys late at night, someone that you would make a deal with and they, in turn, would stab you in the back. I’m not that person, and to be honest I don’t really lie in real life that much. I do lie in my writing however, and it’s a real problem. I don’t lie about big stuff, because that would definitely make things too complicated, but lying about minute details just comes so easily to me. Whether it’s to make something more eye-catching and interesting, or to make a certain event easier to explain, or simply because I think something sounds better, most of my personal writing is spotted with tiny fibs. If I ever get questioned, or on a rare occasion, caught, I’ll usually just blame it on my terrible memory, and play it off as a “well, I thought that happened!” The funniest thing is when I’m actually writing the piece, and my brain will go “THAT’S A LIE!!!! WHY ARE YOU WRITING THAT!!!!! DUDE!!!! WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!” while simultaneously my fingers are going “Haha :)”
In class we’ve emphasized the importance of honesty in personal essay writing, and so this is obviously a problem I’ll have to work on this semester, and probably for the rest of my life. And it’s also not something I really understand the root cause of, so that’ll be a lot of fun to unpack :). But in all seriousness, hopefully I’ll be able to stop lying in my writing, or at least cut it down? I don’t know. We’ll see.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I definitely relate to your experience with writing as if your audience was reading your paper at that moment. Sometimes it's a lot easier to just fib and skim over details either to make them more appealing or clear to our readers. I think it's a delicate balance because sometimes its necessary to smudge details to make something accessible to others (e.g. in technical writing), but at the same time you want to maintain your authenticity.
ReplyDeleteI love that you were honest enough to post this. I too, lie a lot in my writing. I think sometimes I just can't remember what actually happen so I make up an "aesthetic" detail to fit in the story.
ReplyDeleteWell, it's complicated. I'm curious what counts in your view as "a lie" in your writing. We haven't talked much about the idea of "poetic license" in class yet, but it's definitely something nonfiction writers as well as poets have. I do think in nonfiction writing, we must be truthful, but there are times when we can change details of what happened slightly for the sake of the story without actually compromising the truth of the story. I always quote David Sedaris, who writes mostly memoir, many of the best known of which are (sometimes outrageous) stories about his family. When asked "Are your stories true?" He replies, "true enough." Part of the challenge of being a writer is figuring out what "true enough" means for you. We will be talking about this in class, though, so I'm glad you brought it up!
ReplyDeleteI can see how this could be a problem in this class, particularly concerning this current essay. It's hard to be completely honest about something especially when you have to give to someone else to read, or even worse, your classmates. I can definitely relate to this post because I'm also prone to writing little lies in my writing to make it more attractive.
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